akillersmile

"Sure, why not."

She hated how tense things were. How nervous they both obviously were. But Caroline wasn't sure how to possibly get past that. But drinks would help. Also ... "Don't worry, I'll tell you I'm going to attack you before I do."

She headed for a spot nearby that she'd been to once before. She remembered it being somewhere you could actually have a private conversation in. She went in the door, assuming Kyle would follow.

"Don't attack me and you won't have to tell me," Kyle replies lightly, as if giving advice for what drink to order later. He walks along with her, noticeably more relaxed now that he knows she's probably not going to kill him. He still hates what she is, but he's formed a tense yet vaguely cordial relationship with Cooper and a friendship of sorts with Natasha, so it is possible for them to get to something less awful.

Kyle steps forward to open the door for her, more a force of habit than anything else, then follows her inside. He moves with her to the bar to order a beer for himself and waits for her to give her order before he even speaks again. "So did you help?"

She isn't planning on attacking anyone, so that should be pretty easy to do. Of course, she's not sure what exactly she is planning either. Part of her keeps considering bolting for it, until she reminds herself that Kyle's the one that approached her. So maybe they can come to some sort of understanding after all.

She orders a Long Island iced tea - always a good fallback - then turns her attention to his question. "Yes, I helped," she admitted. "Things couldn't keep going on the way they were."

"No shit," he agrees lightly, because it seems like the most obvious thing in the world. Kyle hates vampires because of what they do, not inherently because of what they are. Natasha has been slowly helping him to realize that, even if the ability to separate those two things isn't always easy or readily apparent. Caroline feeding on blood bags is questionable, but her condoning of the recent genocide by being part of the Nest is what he hates her for, when he does.

"Will it get better now?" He asks honestly. He can't help offer a charming smile to the bartender as he accepts his drink, a force of habit, though it slips away with the stranger's presence to return to a light frown.

Caroline takes a drink while she considers the question. "I don't know for sure," she says finally. "I hope so. The new duke wants to restore order and I'm going to do everything I can to help make that happen."

She pauses, looking at Kyle for a moment, her brow furrowed as she thinks some more. "Actually, I have you to blame for that. Or thank for it, I'm not sure which one it is yet. But you made me realize that I had to stop being so scared all the time and actually get involved."

"'Order' another word for 'power?'" He asks, half joking and half entirely serious. In his experience, order is generally the excuse for regimes to commit further genocide and impose new and subjective rules that suit their needs. Kyle's eyes watch the bubbles in his drink, the foam slowly dissolving.

"Getting involved's good. Refusing to be part of an organization that murders civilians is better." He glances over to flash her a grin before his eyes return to his drink and he takes a sip.

She puts down her drink and gives Kyle a hard look. "Because the US military's never heard of the term collateral damage."

She sighs heavily. "Leaving the Nest would be a death sentence for me and it would make a damn difference in the greater scheme of things. So if you can't get past that, I don't know that we have much to talk about. Which is a shame, because I really liked you, but I deserve better than that in my friends."

Kyle turns on her. His personal kill history is a testy subject and she's close enough to it to hit a nerve. Besides, as much as he likes to consider himself a forward thinker, he's still a patriot.

"I don't know about the drones and DC shit like that -- I wouldn't hold you accountable for what the Bergie Beasts did -- but no one in my squad killed any civilians. What the Nest did was genocide. And comparing that to collateral damage shows how fucking desensitized you are. No wonder it's no big deal to you to eat our race. We're obviously less than you, right?"

He had to actively resist the urge to throw his drink across the bar and shatter it on the wall nearby, instead holding it firmly in his hand without moving.

"There's always ways to leave if that's what you really want and every person matters. Monroe used to say 'the minute every life stops mattering is the minute they've won.'" He chuckles. "But hell, you were the ones that would win, so maybe you are. Make all the excuses you want, Caroline. I'll keep trying to protect the innocent lives you guys love taking so much, even if I'm not a soldier anymore."

"Oh my god," Caroline mutters, looking anywhere but Kyle. Of course, she'd expected the collateral damage comment to get his attention.

She takes a deep breath, trying to stay calm. "Look, I get it. Vampires can do terrible things. And I'm pretty damn sure some of those terrible things happened to you. But you know what? You're not the only one. I've had those things happen. I've been fed on, had my memory manipulated. I've been smothered to death with a pillow when there was vampire blood in my system just to send a message." She pauses, trying not to let those memories overrun her right now. "But I can recognize that those were actions of individuals and not blame every vampire in existence for them. Just like I can see that there are people in the Nest who want to protect innocent lives too but instead of seeing that, you're just going to condemn them all. Kill them all, because of what they are rather than what they've done. That sounds a lot like genocide too."

"Only if I get my way," he retorts immediately. Genocide necessitates a lot more of them dying that Kyle's been able to kill, or that he'll ever be able to without some mass interference. He chuckles at the remark though, because it's a pipe dream and comes with a lot of complications he knows exist but hasn't bothered to address because they aren't relevant.

"It's funny you should say that. No, I've never been personally hurt by a vampire outside of combat." A subtle hint as to what some of his time spent in the army actually was. "Most of the worst shit to ever happen to me has always come from people. Human beings. But you know what the difference is? I've seen good people too. I've never seen a good vampire."

Except maybe Natasha, but she's still an exception and wouldn't help the point he's trying to make. "If they want to protect innocent lives, they should leave Islington and start a new nest. A good Nazi's still a Nazi. Until they're not. You might be a good vampire in your mind, but you're still part of a Nest that doesn't value human life, which means you can't either."

As far as Caroline is concerned, with Jean-Claude leading it is a new nest. But she doesn't think she'll ever convince Kyle of that. Plus, she's trying not to let that part about never seeing a good vampire get to her. But it does hurt.

"Why did you come up to me tonight? So you could tell me how terrible I am? Because I can think of about a million things that I would rather do."

"No, that's-" Kyle begins before realizing the truth of her words. He sighs, letting his anger simmer instead of boil over, deliberately taking another sip of his drink as a way to distract himself for a few more seconds. He sets his drink down and turns to face her, more serious and a lot less angry now.

"No. I came up because I want to help you. I think you can be good if you want to be." He resists the urge to reach out and touch her, something he would normally do with any human girl in this situation. Instead his hand gets about halfway to hers before falling back to his side again. "I'm dumb and I'm optimistic and I want to think that it's possible for not all vampires to be monsters."

Caroline eyes him carefully, especially when it seems for a moment like he's going to touch her. She tries not to think too much about what he can do with those hands of his.

"When you say help me, do you mean in a friend sort of way, where you actually want what's best for me, or do you imagine yourself some white knight, off to save a poor little vampire damsel in distress?" The latter is far too close to what her father had tried to do to her. And even if he'd eventually accepted that she was a good person, even after becoming a vampire, the whole torture thing hadn't done good things for their relationship.

Kyle wonders for a moment if there's a difference for him. He has to turn it around, think about the people who tried to help him after his parents were murdered. Then he understands what she means.

"Both," he admits after the pause. "You're no damsel. I guess I'm trying to help the vampire who has the chance to be good. But if you weren't someone I cared about, I wouldn't waste my time trying. I want you to stop being a slave to the Nest. That's about it."

He shrugs. She already doesn't feed on people. If he can get her free from the Nest, he's pretty sure that she'd do the rest on her own. Caroline strikes him as a good person, or the potential to be one. Otherwise he really wouldn't even bother.

Caroline takes another drink and is quiet for a few moments, as she thinks over their entire conversation - and their previous ones as well. There are a number of word choices that don't sit well with her. She's certainly no one's slave and she already is good, as far as she's concerned, but she gets that this is how he sees her and it will probably take time for him to change his mind. As a vampire, time should be something she has in abundance.

"Okay," she says finally. "I'm happy to accept your help. However, I still think I can do much more good from within the Nest than leaving it. I know you don't believe it's possible but the only way I see this working is if you give me the chance to try and change your mind. And if it doesn't work and things just go back to how they were before ... well, then I move onto plan B."

"Hey, I'm not entirely unreasonable," Kyle quips back, immediately lighter in his tone and mood now that she's agreed to accept his help. Even if it means not leaving the Nest for now. It seems like the beginning of a plan. "Explain it to me."

He turns back to his drink to take a sip, more comfortable and natural in his movements now than before. She's still a vampire, but he's confident that she's not a threat to him for the moment and he has no reason to be angry or anything other than his usual nonchalant self. It's what he prefers, wherever possible.

Okay. Okay, this is beginning to look up. To make it even better, Caroline downs her drink and orders another. It's still going to take a bit more for her to feel fully relaxed but she's getting there.

"How weird is it that hooking up in a bar was the uncomplicated part of this relationship?" she mutters, shaking her head. "And it's not that complicated. New leadership, new rules, genocide is strictly not allowed. If you don't follow the rules, you find a stake in your heart."

He laughs at the first comment. Kyle obviously hasn't forgotten their introduction and a part of him really wants to go back to that. If only she was human again in his mind. She's still hot as hell, still draws a reaction from his body he can't entirely control, but even that's been tainted now.

"It's a start, if it's true." He's not sure he believes it. "Do they still eat people?"

Caroline would love to go back there and not because of the sex part. But she doesn't think it's going to happen anytime soon, if at all.

"Only those who are willing. I still prefer the blood bag route." Her control is probably good enough that she could bite a willing human but she'd still rather not, for a little while longer.

"It's fucked up." Kyle sighs. Fighting the argument of hurting people who agree to be hurt is a whole other situation he doesn't exactly want to deal with but isn't about to normalize or accept either. Caroline's and Natasha's methods are the only he approves of. "We'll see how it goes."

He takes another long sip of his drink, feeling exhausted and not knowing where to go from here. Maybe Caroline can become another Natasha to him, another friend and trusted ally in times of need, despite what she is. Or maybe the new Nest will ruin everything.

"I'm glad you told me," he says after he sets his glass down. For as fucked up as all of it is, he appreciates that much. It couldn't have been easy, especially if Nancy warned Caroline about how Kyle feels. "I don't know if you love it. But I'm glad."

Caroline actually doesn't entirely disagree but it's also not something she knows enough about to really feel like she can judge. And it was at least better than just feeding off any random person who came their way.

She gives him a wry, half smile at his last comment. "I don't think I really had a choice, not if I wanted any sort of ... friendship." She's not sure that's the right word but it's less loaded than "relationship."

"You could have lied," he admits. It's a tragic idea in his mind and somewhat of a deplorable act. That doesn't mean she couldn't have done it, have continued lying to him about what she is. He remembers very nearly taking her home that night, if not so wrecked about Alex, and almost feels sick at the idea of what else could have happened if she had lied.

"I'm glad you didn't though," he reiterates, flashing her one of his prized charming smiles.

She shrugs. "It wouldn't have worked for long. You'd invite me to come out during the day or I would have found myself stuck outside your front door. Maybe if you didn't know that vampires are real but ..."

She shakes her head. "It's safer for you to know, too. It's not easy to be involved with a supernatural crowd and not know about it." That's how she'd become a vampire in the first place and even if she wouldn't want to go back to being human, it would have been nice to understand what was really going on.

"I can handle myself," he retorts as a benign boast, more to reaffirm his masculinity than to accuse her of thinking otherwise. Kyle's definitely spent enough time fighting vampires and lurking among the supernatural here in London to know what it's like and to have learned how to deal with them. Hell, his ex-girlfriend's a werewolf. He's seen more than his fair share.

Kyle turns to face her suddenly, expression sobering though not solemn. "When's the last time you ate?"

Caroline has to chuckle and roll her eyes at his retort. She does idly wonder which one of them would win in a fight - though only if it was a friendly sparring match. She's pretty sure she's faster than him, not so sure if she's stronger.

She raises an eyebrow as his question, then looks down at her phone to find out what time it is. "About two hours ago?" Given the mood she'd be in tonight, she knew she didn't want to face down any unexpected cravings.

He wonders why she looks at her phone, if it's to gain a general sense of time or if she has reminders set. The idea of scheduling her blood drains nearly makes him nauseous, so he chooses to assume it's the former. At her response, he gives a nod, then forces a smile that he knows will look nearly as hesitant as it feels.

"I want to see you eat," he says after a beat. In spite of the reticence of his lips to smile, his voice is unwavering. "Will you show me?"

Caroline freezes at the question, since it is something she wouldn't have ever anticipated him asking. The idea is a awkward, not to mention more than a little voyeuristic.

"What exactly do you mean by that?" she asks finally. "And why?"

"I mean I want to see how you get your blood bags and how it works," he elaborates. It doesn't even occur to him that some people might get off on watching a vampire eat, so all he can think to defend is the why of what he wants. "I'm trying to understand. Why some vampires abuse humans, others eat animals, and you suck it out of a bag like a capri sun."

It still seemed strange to Caroline, but she could tell he was trying. "Okay, I guess." She paused, thinking for a moment. "I take them from hospitals, so I'm not sure if I can really show you that part."

"Wait, you st-" Kyle began, his voice at full volume. He caught himself and continued in an angry whisper, scowling at Caroline. "You steal them from the hospital? Do you pay attention to bloodtype or is it whatever they have? Do you know how dangerous that is? For you and for them?"

He had to run a hand through his hair in an effort to control his sudden anger. She'd mentioned taking blood from the hospital before, but he'd assumed she had a source or something. Stealing it like that held too big a risk of her getting caught and was putting the lives of innocent people at risk.

Caroline was a bit surprised that he hadn't realized she was stealing them, though if she thought back, she realized she'd never said it directly. But given how many London vampires drank from humans - albeit many of them willing - she hadn't really been sure if she could ask for blood bag sources, so she'd just gone ahead and dealt with it herself.

"I may be a baby vampire but I know how to take care of myself. Around regular humans, in the middle of the night, it's usually not that hard." She sighed dramatically. "And yes, I do pay attention to blood type. I don't take anything that's O-negative and I rotate where I go, so I don't deplete anyone's supplies."

PSL

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hi remember me ilu

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